Monday minutia

I broke down this evening and turned on the heat out in the living room for the first time this evening. I've turned on the heat a few nights back in the bedroom this season, and I've been turning on the space heater in the morning to heat up the bathroom for a while now. But I've been holding out on heating the main room But I'm tired of having to wrap up in a blanket and wear a sweatshirt just to watch TV or work on the computer.

I'm not looking forward to higher electric bills, but I HATE being cold.

***

I drove up to Portland last night in the fog. I got spoiled living in Southern California. I don't ever remember having fog there. I realized when I was driving home from Portland in the fog that If I have to drive in the fog I'd rather do it at night than during the day. You can see the taillights further up ahead at night than you can in the day. But still, driving in the ground mist is exhausting.

My eyes ached by the time I got home. By the time I went to bed I had a splitting headache. I'm not sure if driving in the fog contributed or not, but I'll blame it anyway.

***

I'm not pleased by all the Christmas displays and Christmas commercials on TV already. That stuff shouldn't start until after Thanksgiving. I swear the weeks from Thanksgiving to Christmas used to be plenty of a holiday season. My favorite radio station has even started playing the occasional Christmas song and promoting their website where you can get commercial-free Christmas music 24/7. I'm tempted to boycott the station until after the holidays.

But I know the real reason I hate the hard sell is I don't have money for many, if any, Christmas gifts this year. I don't need to be reminded of that every second of the day for the next 6 weeks. I had to by tires and still need an oil change and new brakes for the truck and new eyeglasses.

Merry Frickin' Christmas.

***

I took the plunge recently. I filled out a profile on an online dating site. I haven't used the site to contact anyone yet and the profile still needs work. But it's a first step. Right? That's progress. Right?

The date: A retrospective

So the big date came and went and since I blabbed about it on here, it seems only right that I provide some sort of recap of the evening.

The evening had all the ingredients for disaster, or at least a coronary episode on my part. What I neglected to mention in my first date post was that the meeting was arranged by my boss and my boss and his date were attending the same event I was, as were several other coworkers. It was sort of like dating in a fish bowl with several sets of noses pressed against the glass.

I should have, by all rights, been a nervous wreck.

Surprising, at least to myself, I was calm, completely at ease with myself and the circumstances. I had a great time. My companion was attractive, charming and funny. She has a candid way of speaking that I find comforting and refreshing. Perhaps my admiration of that trait is due to too many years spent learning to bite my tongue for fear of offending someone or embarrassing myself, which tends to result in thoughts and emotions building up until a blurt things out in a stream of consciousness that shocks others. Better to dole out colorful language and blunt observations in small doses I think, but it's not a skill I've mastered.

To make a long story as short as possible I will say that the evening went quickly. My date had other plans for the latter part of the evening, so after a few hours of conversation, dinner and laughter the evening ended. I'm glad I went and surprised myself to find that stepping outside my comfort zones proved to be remarkably comfortable.

Perhaps that's not as exciting as a stereotypical first date filled with anxiety and anticipation, passion and uncertainty. Maybe that type is more fun. But all things considered, I thought it was about perfect. I'm not sure it would be the best of circumstances to be head-over-heels and looking for love on the first date after a long dateless spell. Looking for a friend was much preferable. Only time will tell whether I found a potential friend, or merely had a nice evening with an engaging, intelligent and interesting woman. One can't have enough interesting experiences either.

It's a date, isn't it?

I have a date. I think. Sort of.

Although, truth be told, I'm not sure I really know what a date is. I've never been much of a dater. So I may need clarification from more advanced and experienced daters out there.

For me, the biggest dating issue has always been asking someone out for a first date. It's a two-pronged problem. I tend to be shy around women and suffer from a paralyzing fear of rejection. For some reason it's hard to get a date if you can't bring yourself to ask a woman out on a date.

So, in order to work up the nerve to ask a woman out, I had to be pretty head-over-heels for her and know her well enough to be pretty confident her reaction to being asked out would not be laughter, spitting or stunned silence. Of course, it helps to have a friend who could do some recon work and find out if a girl likes you, but that doesn't go over so big after junior high.

I have almost always gone into a first date knowing I wanted a second one. Knowing I want a relationship. Knowing I had a crush on her.

There have been some exceptions, but I always felt uncomfortable and awkward, which didn't make for the most enjoyable outing. Of course that didn't lead to many second dates either.

I know that dating, at least in theory, is a way that people get to know one another to find out if they want to date more. I understand the theory. I've just never been able to put the theory into practice.

So, that's why I don't know if my date Saturday is a date. It's a fix-up situation. A blind date. And there is no expectation for a second date. Perhaps that's what's kept me from freaking out so far and actually has me looking forward to it. In order to get back into (or, perhaps more accurately, get into for the first time ever) the dating scene, it seems important to get that first date in a long time out of the way.

So, I've got a date. And I'm completely comfortable and at ease with the whole thing.

Oops, got to run. my nose just started bleeding. That usually only happens when I've got a cold, or when the weather changes or I'm stressed out about something. I wonder what brought this one on?

Must be the onset of fall weather.