Prom night

Tonight is prom night for my daughter and her boyfriend. Here are some pictures of them getting ready for the big night with a little help from my daughter's mom.

Much too old to feel this damn young

My daughter turns 18 today. I'm not quite sure how that happened. I mean, I've been witness to her growth and maturity over the years, so I know it's her and she is, indeed, a young woman. But I don't feel like I'm old enough to have an adult daughter. Some days I don't feel like I'm adult yet myself, particularly in my after-work-hours life. At work, I feel mature and in control, but afterwards, not so much.

Oh, sure, I see signs of the middle-aged dude I undoubtedly am when I look in the mirror. The gray hair is not young-guy hair. The wardrobe is no longer a young-guy wardrobe. But inside my head, I still feel as mixed up, confused and insecure as I did on the day she was born. OK, maybe not that confused.

That was a very confusing time. Little did I know that tiny little girl would change my life so such massive ways.

Our story could have been much different. I feel lucky to have her in my life at all. The time around her birthday has always been a special time. Even when I lived far away, I used to time my vacation to spend her spring break with her, which always fell right before her birthday. Now that I've moved back to Oregon, I get to see her much more often, but I miss those intensive week-long visits sometimes, especially near her birthday.

Suzanna is a senior this year and will graduate from high school this summer. Then it will be college and all too soon she will be starting her only life with her own career aspirations and life. There is no guarantees that we will be able to be together for birthdays and holidays and family outings.

I've learned to appreciate every moment, every conversation. Each one is one more than I thought I would have.

Suzanna is very much her mother's daughter. She is beautiful and smart and a loving, giving person. I could not be prouder of her.

Happy Birthday Suzanna. I hope you have a great one and I look forward to celebrating with you this weekend.

Congrats to the new parents and parents-to-be

I found out from my friend Karly's blog, that a couple of mutual friends and former colleagues had their first baby today. Congrats to Tom and Kara and their new baby girl, Lexi. There are photos on Tom and Kara's blog.

I worked with Jose and Karly and Tom and Kara in Palm Springs. They are among about a billion former colleagues who seem to be expecting lately. Fortunately, I can stay caught up with them through blogs or Facebook, even though we've now scattered all over the country.

It's sort of weird to have so many friends who are starting their young families and having kids because my daughter is getting ready to graduate from high school this year. It doesn't seem that long ago that we were all colleagues, friends and fellow singles. Up until recently I thought maybe someday I would marry and get a chance to be a traditional dad. The marriage part hasn't happened for me yet, but I haven't given up hope. However, I now am thinking that maybe being a parent again won't be in the cards. And I am growing more comfortable with that. I certainly don't feel old, but I am not sure I would have the energy I would want to have to be the parent of a newborn. I do enjoy getting to be Uncle Gary. Small kids are a joy. I think a great part of my interest in them comes from only spending time with my daughter in very small doses quite far apart when she was small. Perhaps it's trying to recapture part of her youth.

I am envious of my friends who are starting their young families. You are in for a great deal of joy, happiness and pride. There is no love like it. Tom's got that figured out already, as evidence by his post in which he describes his beautiful newborn daughter. Tom writes: "As I typed beautiful my eyes teared up. For the first time in my life, I truly understand what beautiful is."

Yea, Tom, you've got it bad. Just wait until you are sitting there watching some sappy commercial on TV that reminds you of your child and you choke up, your eyes fill up with tears. God forbid it's when the guys are all over watching football or something. It's OK, dude. The other dads will understand. They'll flip you no end of crap, but they are just doing that to keep from tearing up themselves.