Dream of equality lives, but not yet realized

Television and the Internet can sometimes make the world seem like a very small place. It's easy to get the impression we all have shared experiences. We post our little burbs on our blogs and Facebook and MySpace pages, we Twitter and text and talk incessantly on cell phones. Communication is non-stop.

We share data and details with those near and far. However, that doesn't mean there is true sharing or understanding.

In watching the post-election coverage Tuesday night, so many of the commentators, analysts and pundits were talking about how far we have come as a nation to elect Barack Obama, a bi-racial man, to the highest office in the land. Obama, who was born before the Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act became law, is now seen as the hope of a new generation and the embodiment of what so many generations have fought -- and died -- to achieve.

Even Obama's acceptance speech was different than those that came before in its attempt to be inclusive of all of America.

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer. ... It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled – Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red
States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America."

-- Barack Obama, Nov. 4, 2008

In the rush of euphoria, perhaps it seems that the worst is all behind us. That Americans have matured, grown wise and understanding and inclusive and accepting of people and their differences. But on the same night Obama was elected the next president of the United States -- on the night he mentioned homosexuals specifically in his speech-- that very same electorate also voted to exclude others. Voters approved a constitutional amendment restricting marriage to heterosexual couples only in California and similar measure in Arizona and Florida -- three of 30 states that have now adopted such measures. And on Tuesday, Arkansas voters passed a measure that keeps gay men and lesbian women from adopting children or serving as foster parents.

The headline on commentary piece by Joseph Galliano on the Guardian website calls Obama a pro-gay president.

Yes, we've come so far, but our nation still has so far to go.

"There's something deeply wrong with putting the rights of a minority up to a majority vote," Evan Wolfson, a gay-rights lawyer who heads a group called Freedom to Marry, was quoted as saying in an Associated Press story. "If this were being done to almost any other minority, people would see how un-American this is."

Fortunately, we have a system that does not merely rely on majority rule. We have a system that offers checks and balances. But we haven't achieved true balance or true equality yet.

Just ask the gay community.

I can't understand it. I'm perplexed why anyone would care that two people who share their lives and responsibilities also share the same gender. But then again, not everyone has had the same life experiences I've had. I am thankful and fortunate to have so many friends and family members who are gay and open about who they are at their core. They don't live a lifestyle, they haven't made a choice to live or love a certain way. Their sexuality is as much part of them as their eye, or skin, color.

I've been fortunate to live in a community with a vibrant and active gay community, gay businesses and gay activists. I've been fortunate to see beyond the flamboyant fringes of gay and lesbian life and beyond the stereotypes. Those I care about have shared their lives -- not just the parts that are different or mysterious or spicy -- to a heterosexual who was naive about such things. I've seen that they have the same boring, vexing problems I have. But if they are fortunate to find someone they want to share their life with, they run into many more roadblocks in trying to take care of each other or share the burdens of responsibility that come with love and true commitment.

My tolerance for intolerance has worn thin. That's undoubtedly due in no small part to having family members who are Latino and gay and friends who are Latino, black, Jewish, gay, Asian, etc., in other words, people who are outwardly different than me, yet who inwardly have proven to me to offer more similarities than differences and whose differences have enriched me personally.

I'll be honest, Obama's election stunned me. I know there is still a lot of bigotry, racism and intolerance in our country. If I look close, I can still see it in myself too. I didn't think we, as a society, were ready to elect a black man as president.

I was wrong. Sometimes it's good to be wrong. But I can't for the life of me figure out how some of the very same people who voted for Obama in California, Arizona and Florida could also oppose gay marriage.

However, I am not without hope. I know interracial marriage was once illegal. I know the voting majority once supported slavery and opposed giving black men and women of all races the right to vote too. I am proud America is the type of nation that it is with the type of government it has and that majority rule is not the only rule of government or law. I am confident that one day we will achieve the freedom and equality espoused in our nation's Declaration of Independence. We are already more equal today than our Founding Fathers ever dared to dream.

But we are just not yet equal enough.